SEX IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND
 
Usually, everyone who gets a dog either calls him Rover or Fido or
something like that.  But I decided to name mine "Sex."  Needless to
say, Sex is a very embarrassing name.  One day I took Sex for a walk,
and he got away from me.  I spent most of the night looking for that
dog.  A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4
A.M.  I said, "Looking for Sex."  He didn't seem too understanding, and
gave me a court date.
 
One day, I went to city hall to get a dog license. The clerk asked me
what I wanted.  I told him I wanted a license for Sex.  He said, "I
would like to have one, too."  "You don't understand," I said, "Sex is a
dog!"  He said he didn't care what she looked like. "No, listen.  I've
had Sex since I was 10 years old!"  He replied that I must've been a
strong boy.

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have
Sex at the wedding.  He told me to wait until afterwards.  I said, "Sex
has played a big part in my life; my whole life revolves around Sex." 
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life, and wouldn't
marry us at the church.  I told him that everyone coming to the wedding
would enjoy having Sex there.  We ended up getting married by the
Justice of the Peace.  Oh, and we aren't allowed at that church anymore.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon.  When I checked 
in at the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted one room for myself and my wife, 
and another separate room for Sex.  He told me every room in the hotel was
for Sex.  I said, "You don't understand; Sex keeps me awake at night."
He replied, "Me too."

One time I entered Sex in the dog show.  When I told my friend that I'd
had Sex on T.V., he called me a showoff.  I told him it was a contest,
and he said I should have sold tickets.
 
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog.  I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married."  He
said, "Me too."
 
Well, I've had more troubles caused by that dog than I had ever
bargained for.  Just the other day I went for my first session with the
psychiatrist.  She asked me what the problem was. "Sex has died and
gone out of my life.  It's so lonely."  And the doctor said, "Listen,
mister.  You and I both know sex isn't man's best friend.  If you're
lonely, then go get yourself a dog!" 

- Hannah